Stop.

Stop telling me that I’m too pretty for me to take my job seriously.  Stop telling me that I could be prettier if I wore makeup and high heels.

Stop telling me that I’m too nerdy because I read comic books and fantasy novels, play board games and Magic, and watch Doctor Who and Firefly.  Stop telling me that I’m not nerdy enough because I don’t know all the esoteric details of a particular topic.

Stop telling me that I’m so young that I remind you of your teenage child.  Stop forgetting that I am young and don’t have decades of experience and it is okay that I am still learning and don’t know everything.

Stop asking me to lighten up when you’re being a jerk.  Stop saying I’m too outspoken when you’re the one that needs to lighten up and accept criticism.

Stop thinking that I’m too nice to take seriously and that you can take advantage of me.  Stop telling me to be mean to get my way because I don’t want to stop being a nice person.

Stop saying that I am where I am in life because I’m lucky or blessed.  Stop losing perspective and realizing that we’re all lucky because we get help from others all the time.

Stop asking me to take notes in the meeting because I’m the only girl in the room (and no, if you have your computer in front of you, you can’t use the excuse that I have good hand writing).  Stop being shocked that I’m taking notes on how you don’t know how to respectfully treat a woman.

Stop telling me that I’m too bossy when I assert myself.  Stop bossing me around all the time and thinking that it’s okay to inconvenience me over other people.

Stop trying to intimidate me, loom over me, or back me into corners.  Stop telling me that I’m intimidating because I’m a friendly girl.

Stop other women from woman-shaming – we can be our own worst enemies.  Stop other men from being sexist even if it’s against men.

Stop saying that because I’m a woman, I need to work twice as hard to get to the same place as a man.  Stop saying that I have to work half as hard as a guy to get hired because I’m preferentially hired for “diversity”.

Stop telling me that work should be my life.  Stop making unrealistic expectations that work-life balance means that I should be good at everything domestic like cooking and cleaning.

Stop telling me that in a place where anyone can wear anything, I need to be careful about what I wear because you can tell that I’m a girl.  Stop telling me to wear clothes to fit in.

Stop rejecting women who don’t fit the mold of being both brilliant and gorgeous.  Stop tearing down women who are brilliant and gorgeous by saying that they aren’t the best at something or another.

Stop saying that I’m not living up to potential – it only serves to make me feel like I’m not being good enough.  Stop thinking that you potentially know what’s best for me.

Stop telling me to think like a man and not realize that sentence is inherently sexist.  Stop forgetting that just because I’m a woman that I don’t represent all women in the workplace, in IT, or really in anything.

Stop asking me “Why are you so sensitive?” when you make rude jokes.  Stop forgetting to be sensitive to your own unconscious (or conscious) bias and trying to be a better person.

Stop.  Just stop.

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